They Don’t: Want Gay Weddings in Their Church

Posted on February 13, 2012 by

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Guest article by Tonella Roy, from her blog, Out in the Coast.

In California a recent appeal by the federal court has ruled that the ban on same sex marriage is unconstitutional, saying that its sole objective is to “lessen the status and human dignity of gays”.


THANK YOU! I shake my head in wonder that we keep circling this same tree over and over, but in reality, there is still so far to go when it comes to equal rights for gays and lesbians.

Marriage is a right that every human being should have – and I just want to pause in happy celebration that California is making steps to get on the right path again.

The ban known as Prop 8 in Cali was approved by voters in 2008, much to the sadness of the world that was watching vigilantly. I remember shedding some tears that day – it felt like a huge blow even though I am a Canadian and enjoy the right to be able to marry the woman that I love.

So this makes me think of my dear friend Alexander, who is marrying the love of his life in March (guess who is standing in at his wedding.. this girl!).

Finding a church to get married in has proven to be quite difficult. The only ‘traditional’ church in Fredericton, NB that appears to be willing to wed a gay couple requires that you first attend the church for 6 months before they will wed you.

I wonder if that standard applies to heterosexual couples as well. And even if it does not, there are a plethora of churches that will rent their buildings to the man and woman with the highest dollar to tie the knot in, but for the same sex couples… we receive a slammed door or a polite but cold ‘sorry, no thank you’.

I am not an extremely religious woman, but I do have friends that are. And it makes me so frustrated that this beautiful couple whom I love will have to travel to another city to find a church that will allow them in.

So here’s what I have to say.

Church’s, you have heard these arguements before. I realize you may feel we are going around the same tree again and again as well. But I still have to urge to consider that you are denying people the very thing that you claim to offer them when they walk through your doors.

Quoting the Old Testament and hanging on to the scriptures in Leviticus is not a valid excuse for inequality and discrimination. If you think that Lev 20:13 is the basis of your bias against lesbian and homosexual couples

(Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood [shall be] upon them.

then you also must consider the entire Old Testament to be a blueprint for your life. Leviticus also states that no priest can serve the Lord unless he is physically perfect. This means if you wear glasses, you’re out. And I certainly don’t see you checking your pastors for blemishes, eye defects, physical disabilities or inspecting a potential pastor’s testicles to ensure they are perfect before he is hired (check out Leviticus 21:16 to 21). How about burning your bull sacrifices on Sunday? Lev. 1:9 Sending your wives and daughters out of the city when their Lady Time is upon them? 15:19-24 Stoning the members of your congregation if they happen to take the Lord’s name in vain? Lev.24:10-16 What about when they wear mixed fabrics? Lev 19:19

I didn’t think so.

I think perhaps you are trying to adhere to the words of Jesus Christ, since you refer to yourself as a ‘Christian’. And if I’m not mistaken, Jesus never once mentioned homosexuals or stated that you were to discriminate against them.

I realize this is a debate that rages on (especially in regards to the Apostle Paul’s words in Romans 1:26-27). But I also strongly believe that this issue is very much the same as the race discrimination problem that was so prevalent in the past and that continues to rage on in some Southern areas in the US. Many people use the words of the Bible to support bigotry, and if you truly do ‘love one another’, and ‘have ears to hear’, you may find yourself surprised at the revelation. Much the same way that it took a blinding light and formless voice to show Paul the error of his ways regarding his beliefs about the Hebrew texts, maybe you should allow God to do the same for you. If you have a knee jerk reaction of disgust when you hear about segregation in the schools, then try to expand your mind and realize that your inability to see everyone as equal has placed you into that category.

I think that it doesn’t take very much for you to open your doors and your hearts to the people in the community who want to commit their lives to each other with faith, love and honesty.

And let’s face it, you would be lucky to have this beautiful couple in your church.

Love is a blessing – every form of it.

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Posted in: FQ