InQueery: Silence = Death

Posted on January 18, 2012 by


I’m finally starting to understand why Silence = Death. So many times, I’ve said to myself, “what’s the point of speaking up? It’s not going to change anything.” And actually, that’s true most of the time. The stuff I say doesn’t change anything. My words don’t have that kind of power because I don’t have that kind of power. Many times what I have to say is wrong, or partially wrong. And many times it’s part of a process of awakening to the truth, but I’m still not clear what that truth is about. So I’m afraid to speak up, because I’m afraid to be wrong. But mostly I’m afraid that the Other Side will Win. And usually They do. In my case, I’m talking about the Straight World here, folks. They do win because they have the power that I don’t have. And they will triumph in the situation, regardless of whether I speak up or not, whether they disagree with me or not. But every time I don’t say what’s in my heart and mind, a tiny piece of me dies. And every time I don’t say what I really believe, I keep dying a slow but certain death, one little piece at a time. And every time I don’t say what’s on my mind, it’s not just that they win, it’s that I have defeated myself. I have dealt myself the ultimate defeat—which is Silence. Each time I speak up, another piece of me becomes present, and I am just a little more alive. And each time I speak up, even if I’m wrong, I get to see a part of myself that was hidden, I learn something new, and I get to make a change—I change myself. And each time I speak up, I can walk away knowing that I denied Them the ultimate victory, which is to make me disappear; to shroud me in Silence. So it doesn’t matter that I won’t win the argument, or that nothing outside of me will change. If I speak up, I’m more present and alive in this world, and that is a change from before. More of me will emerge into this world, and that alone makes it a different world to live in. And if I don’t speak up, then I will slowly disappear and die. Silence = Death.


Shaun Bartone, Editor

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Posted in: InQueery